Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize