I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i barfeds in our rink
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
