dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
