Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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