i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
In America we eat man semen.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
