I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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