We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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