I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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