Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
