Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize