I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
