Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
