I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
