I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
