dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
