Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
