Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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