so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
