Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize