grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
True strength comes from lack of pants
and you fell through a lawn chair
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
