I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
