You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
