I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
love makes seman taste better
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
