He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
