Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
