Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
