And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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