I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
