How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
