well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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