He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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