Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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