Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
