your thong is hanging out like whoa
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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