loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
