k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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