God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
