My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
