Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
