So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
