You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
