its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He shit in the fireplace
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
