The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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