drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
