How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
