just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
