After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
