why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
