Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
