You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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