I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
