It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
