so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
