We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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