I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
