Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
