Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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