My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
