Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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