I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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