i wish my penis had a tongue
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
