remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
